Among the photos of various burning landmarks, today�s LA Times features a subtle little article, brought to my attention by coworker Giacomo, entitled Zen and the art of management.

Illustrated with a bland, monochromatic photo of several people standing on a concrete plaza, this is exactly the kind of article I�d skip entirely, which is why I am glad to have Giacomo in my life. In general, he brings me articles concerning deeply ironic deaths, but this one lacks gore. It concerns the discovery that the LA Housing Department has paid upwards of $18,000 to a Zen Buddhist priest who is teaching management how to breathe while controlling their sphincters. The article mentions other things, but I found it impossible to get beyond the words �sphincter� and �management� in such proximity. (�Together at last!�)

My first thought was, �Who would sign up for that class?� followed closely by, �Why did I not think of it first?� although to be fair, that is my reaction to learning about everything from grapefruit-flavored Mentos to the internal combustion engine.

I would very much welcome the opportunity to stand before a group of managers of some large bureaucratic organization and force them (in a gentle, Zen way) to think about their sphincters, and by extension, the sphincters of all the other managers. Probably, if I led the class, I would engage the group in a lot of visualization exercises, to crystallize the image of a sphincter�uncontrolled, at first, but gradually being brought under control�in their minds. Then, maybe some marching and chanting�everyone loves chanting. �Gimme an S!� Like that. After some rigorous calisthenics, which I would oversee, I would ask the managers to form pairs and stand facing one another. �Make eye contact. Now, picture your partner�s sphincter,� I would suggest, winding my way through the crowd and monitoring for inappropriate behavior. Anyone caught laughing would have to endure a serene lecture by me on the necessity of letting go of infantile behaviors.

I would not engage in any of these exercises myself, of course. Those who can, do. Those who can�t, teach sphincter-controlled breathing classes to managers.

Star of the day. . .Joseph Campbell