The high level of denial I enjoy allows me to live under the presumption that I post entries only when I have something to say. A quick review of the files will prove otherwise, but on this beautiful sunny Southern California day, do we really need to waste time looking through files that are almost certainly covered with dust mites and Cheetos crumbs? I agree! We don't.

The Keelhauler, who is away on a boat and bored to incoherence, just called to say that he "keeps clicking the Refresh button to see something new" on this page. Picture that, ladies and gentlemen: our beloved hero, hair almost grown back from an unfortunate incident with some clippers, bobbing at sea on a creaky metal workboat, eyes fixed, unblinking, on the home page of Spark and Foam. (Well, OK, that probably describes a lot of people; my seagoing fans are unmatched in their dedication and boredom, but I'm speaking specifically of the Keelhauler.)

When I told the Keelhauler that I had nothing to write about, he seized the opportunity to vie for more space on Keelhauler Korner, the irregular feature I introduced and then irresponsibly neglected. Just like that turtle I brought home when I was eight, full of promises that I would walk him every day. Where is that turtle now? I ask you. I do not know. Anyway, without further ado, here is the most recent installment in the feature you know and love to call...

KEELHAULER KORNER! Yay, everybody, yay!

Welcome to Keelhauler Korner! Today, the Keelhauler asks the following musical question:

Which sport would you rather engage in:

Snowmobile skipping, where you can zoom across lakes at high rates of speed, but could lose your snowmobile (or, you know... life); or...

Catfish noodling, where you could lose a finger or your sense of self-respect. (He didn't say that last part. I'm adding that all on my own.)

Decide for yourself! Keelhauler Korner is all about free will.

What do you say?

Star of the day. . .Carlos Falchi