According to my calendar, it�s International Women�s Day, so� Happy International Women�s Day! I confess that I am completely unprepared for it this year, owing to a very busy Lenten season, but I�m going to rise to the challenge and celebrate my little heart out as soon as I finish my coffee.

To prepare, I Googled �International Women�s Day,� and found the UN website, which states that �International Women's Day (8 March) is an occasion marked by women's groups around the world.� That seems simple enough. The act of writing even what I�ve put down so far seems to suffice in the �marking� category, so I�m good for another year.

In the interest of "going above and beyond," however, I thought I'd reach out to an international woman--someone like me, you know, international in the sense that she has been to both Canada and Mexico. Someone with a loose grasp on English grammar and even looser morals.

As it turns out, I didn't even have to look--a true international woman came looking for me. Here's the message I got from "Eldon," as the name read:

Hello my dear friend,
I was looking through the web few weeks ago and found your profile. Now I decided to email you to get to know you better. I am coming to your country in few weeks and thought may be we can meet each other. I am pretty looking girl. I am 25. Do not reply to this address directly. Email me back at [email protected]

Once again, here's proof that the Universe provides! Upon opening her message, I fell into stunned silence for a number of minutes. I mean, she fits all the categories I was looking for: she apparently lives in another country, although she is unspecific as to which one; and she is a woman! Or at least, pretty looking girl. She is 25, and apparently has been stalking me via the Hinternet. I have married people for less cause than that.

You may see a flaw in this plan, but I'm just going to put it out there: You're right, it's true that I'm not technically a Lesbian, but I'm willing to overlook that in light of the fact that Eldon and I are such good friends without even ever meeting or corresponding.

Take heart, my sisters and brothers, for I know that your Eldon will find you. (Note: If your Eldon does not find you, please feel free to contact mine at the above-listed address.)

Star of the day. . .David Lowery