So, I�m a little pasty this morning, owing to celebrating our friend Linda�s birthday last night, followed by a rather boisterous band practice. I�m feeling a little spun up and bashed. Can you actually see my hair from where you�re sitting? Because it�s huge. I look like Brian May. (See illustration.)

ILLUSTRATION

I posted the picture for the hair, but that cape is truly off the cob. If only I had a pleated satin cape. My life would be perfect. That cape, combined with his serene expression and his thighs, which appear to be those of an eleven-year-old girl. Those three elements together would make my life perfect. Because I already have my own guitar and the aforementioned giant hair. In essence, I am already Brian May, but in girl form, with larger thighs.

Maybe I shouldn�t joke about things like wanting a pleated satin cape, the laws of attraction being what they are (i.e., immutable and all-governing). It wouldn�t be the worst thing in the world to end up with a cape like that, or with really slender thighs, although there�s always the chance that all the weight could just migrate to my forearms, creating difficulty in holding musical instruments and cocktails. I lack faith that my wish will come true without ironic consequences, so perhaps it�s best to just clear my mind and not think about that white bear.

For the past couple of days, I�ve been sporadically reading Bob Larson�s book on Evil rock, adding my own helpful comments in the margins. I finally sent it off to my brother, whose birthday is today, to aid in his spiritual development. The main thing I gleaned from the book is a list of excellent Evil rock songs my band can cover. �Get Down, Make Love,� for instance, by Queen. "Unprintable chorus!" screams Mr. Larson. "Perfect!" screams me.

The book mentions another Evil rock song, one I�ve been hoping to cover. Let�s call it �Crazy Sugar,� which is not its name, but let�s call it that anyway, so I don't reveal what the song actually is and cause you to ridicule me. Last week, I downloaded it, and made a mix CD called �Crazy Sugar Mix!� The next day, my boss came in to work and spontaneously announced that �Crazy Sugar� is the worst song ever, which only cemented my interest in covering it. The artist who performs it had one other semi-hit with a song that has to be the least-authentic chronicle of a nautical voyage ever, but never topped "Crazy Sugar." No, no, no, you just can't top that "Crazy Sugar." (Whatever.)

I have a genuine fondness for �Crazy Sugar,� and I brought it up last night at practice. Nobody else knew the song, but when I named the artist�let�s call him Fred Q. Shaheen�one of our friends, who was hanging around to run the tape recorder for us, recognized the name. �That�s my friend�s dad!� he said, and went on to state that Mr. Shaheen has a house not far from where we were practicing, with a fab recording studio, and everything. Our friend text-messaged his pal immediately, to let her know of our love of �Crazy Sugar.�

So� the way I see it, Mr. Shaheen should be calling any minute to offer the use of his fabulous recording studio free of charge. Maybe he will even sing back-up on our cover of �Crazy Sugar�! Then we could go on tour. That would be so great.

In that case, I will definitely need that cape.

Star of the day. . .Ethan -- Happy A-Day!!