Good afternoon. Before we start, I've got a question for you, which is:

Have you been packaging your sex in a love bag?

Sorry. That stupid book I was reading yesterday (Cosmopolitan's Hangup Handbook) has gotten several ideas lodged in my head, most notably the title to one essay, which is, "Why Package Sex in a Love Bag?" No one has ever asked me that question, even rhetorically, so I had to think about it.

I think the reason I package my sex, my own personal sex, in a love bag, is that it's so much more attractive than my greed bag or my insolence bag. The love bag has a certain je ne bla blah that not only contains the sex but enhances it, and here I am just drifting off into incoherence, which goddammit is what happens when you open any Cosmopolitan publication and allow words therein to enter your field of vision.

The only answer to the "love bag" question is, as Toastcrumbs put it, "Why NOT package sex in a love bag?" I think she speaks for us all.

Star of the day. . .Bill Murray