My car is perfectly OK in most respects, although she is legally old enough to drink. I chose her for aesthetic reasons, and also because it's nice to have a drinking buddy close by at all times. Anyway, she decided to have a little bitch fit on Tuesday night. Because you are what you drive, I had a bitch fit, too, all by myself there in the dark parking lot. It appears there is a short somewhere in the [mass of tangled wire things] which causes the radio to stay on even when the key is out of the ignition. This, the Keelhauler informed me when I called him to [panic] about the ghost radio, is bad and dangerous. I enlisted a dock neighbor to disconnect the battery for me, and when he finished, he shrugged and said, "Yeah... it's hard when all you can afford is these old cars." He then went on to inform me that to have someone inspect the wiring would "cost some money," leading me to believe he thinks that I have just arrived on Earth from the Planet of Free Auto Repair. I would love to think that I have enough self-possession to let a remark like that pass unnoticed, but my ego rode in on a wave of indignation. I didn't say anything, but now I secretly hate him. Ha ha ha! I have my own little war on "Jim" from Dock #9! I'm sure it will be long and fruitful.

To improve your day, and possibly your entire life, watch the video of Black Oak Arkansas performing Hot and Nasty. It's hard to say what is more startling--the vocals, which sound like they were dubbed in by Neil Hamburger, the wild shirtless dancing of white-pants-wearing frontman Jim Dandy, or... well, no. It's the shirtless dancing. For sure. Check it out and steal his awesome moves! Then, create your own YouTube sensation. What the hell else do you have to do?

Go back and watch, if you didn't, that video from Neil Hamburger's latest CD, Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners, because it is genius. Then, go to the Independent's band listings and vote for Dave Gleason, who plays guitar on the CD, for best singer in the land! (Cough, cough... you can also vote for my band, Strange Bird. Just saying.)

You should probably also buy Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners, because the song about recycling will make you cry. In a good way. That is all.

Star of the day. . .Melinda Madison, Sea Nurse

posted @ 3:47 p.m. on August 07, 2008 before | after

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......