Let's say, for the purposes of illustrating my point, that my name is Joan J. Jeepelson. (Awesome fake name, evidence of my great writing skillz.) Anyway, I, Joan J. Jeepelson, decide to open an email account. It's time. I'm a modern woman. The account name I choose is:

[email protected]

And for years, it's great. I love my whatever.com account.

And then one day, I get a weird message from someone named Alfred, which says:

Yo yo yo Jim!

What are you up to? We're playing at the Whatever Cafe next Friday, and we'd love to have you sit in. Gimme a call, duuuuuude.

Or the like.

At first, I think: Oh! Some musician is inviting me to play a gig with him. And he thinks my name is Jim! I can work with that.Will there be cookies?

A little further reading reveals the original message that Alfred is replying to, sent by a Jim J. Jeepelson from the address [email protected]. There's also a signature, listing the website where one might purchase Jim's CDs of soulful folk music. "Ah," I think, "A fellow musician." I feel a kinship. And I figure, OK. Alfred forgot to type in the "318," a reasonable error. And I reply to him, saying, "Oh, I think you meant to send this to..." and put in the correct address (which is actually listed in the message, but which I am too polite to point out).

And although no one ever writes back to me, I feel like I've taken the matter as far as I can go, and I forget about it. And maybe it happens once or twice more, and I alert the sender of Jim's correct address. And then six months later, Jim J. Jeepelson, this name just keeps getting more plausible all the time, signs up for a whole lot of political causes, adds his name to several newsletters, sends out a dozen or letters to various congresspersons and/or political groups, and somehow forgets the crucial "318" portion of his own email address, instead using MY address of [email protected].

So, all day today, I have been getting terse notes from various mid-level politicians, assuring "me" that they are a) working on the problem; b) aware of the problem; c) ignoring the problem but thank you anyway.

Did I write to this Jim Jeepelson and say, HEY, YO, JIM JEEPELSON: YOU USED MY GODDAMN EMAIL ADDRESS AGAIN but in a nice and non-judgmental way, a way that indicates my competence and compassion as a human being, my concern that he will not receive important correspondence from all these politicians he's writing to? I did. Has he written back? He has not.

At first, I just let him know it was happening. Then, I started forwarding the terse e-mails directly to him. His e-mails generally include his home address and phone number, so I guess I could call him, perhaps at some odd hour of the morning, and say OH HELLO JIM J JEEPELSON, SOULFUL FOLK SINGER, WHY CAN'T YOU REMEMBER YOUR OWN E-MAIL ADDRESS? But that seems too... stalkery? Crazed? Logical?

The messages keep on coming in. No word from him.

Advice is welcome.

Star of the day. . .Barbara Kruger