Sorry for the lapse in writing--I made an unscheduled trip to Disneyland last Friday, and am still drying out from the flume ride at Splash Mountain. It occurs to me that that could also serve as a good euphemism for rehab. "I was drying out from my ride down Splash Mountain." Suitable for mixed company of all ages. Which is right in line with the Disney manifesto.

The Keelhauler has, in the 7.5 years I've known him, revealed his distaste for Disneyland 45.8 times. I don't even bring up the subject anymore. His dislike stems, I believe, from a trip he took in 1993 with his then-girlfriend Becky and her sister, to Disney World. "But Keelhauler," I would say, "Disney LAND is a whole different place than Disney WORLD!" I have no idea. I've never been to the WORLD. I just like to argue with him. And I wanted him to go to Disneyland with me.

My brother E is in town, and with this surprise leverage was I able to pry the Keelhauler out of his non-Disney funk and bring about The Keelhauler vs. The Happiest Place on Earth, Round 2 (West Coast Edition).

Here he is at the It's a Small World (see illustration):

ILLUSTRATION

He's looking so shtreet, largely because of the high level of diss represented by the unexpected closure of the ride due to construction. Also, by this point in the day, to cut through the treacly music piping out of every shrub, the three of us had adopted our Disneyland Gangsta Names, as follows:

E: O.P.P-nochio
Me: Malyss 'n' 1-daland
Keelhauler: PyRitz of Da Karib-beatbox

You want to throw down with us? Check yourself before you wreck yourself, because we're on our way up Space Mountain with a motherflippin' FastPass, and you ain't never catching up with our ass. Es.

Asses.

Star of the day. . .Johnette Napolitano