Looking California, Feeling Armageddon

Loyal Dan cc'd me on a message that contained a link to a website, and the question: How Often Do You Find Yourself Saying: "I Wish I Knew How To Learn More About Armageddon 2012"?

My first question was, of course, "Do I really rate only a 'cc' on this important subject?" I got over feeling slighted once I went to the website and saw all the great, great Armageddon-related information available to me.

I'm glad to learn the actual date of Armageddon, because now I can plan what to wear. Oh, sure, you might think you'll be spirited away in the Rapture, but face facts: you'll be right here with me and all the other heathens: rock musicians, liberals, and supermodels (except for Kathy Ireland who, even though she has posed naked one million times, is a good Christian and hence will be sucked up in the Rapture with Jack T. Chick and all the other Good People). Anyway, once you're over the initial disappointment of having to live through devastating global war, you can focus on looking your best. I plan to wear a lot of black leather, in kind of a Blade Runner but not Mad Max style.

It doesn't really surprise me to learn that Armageddon is on the horizon. Even though the bible says specifically that no one will be able to predict the end of the world, it's a popular pursuit. I was raised by my parents to believe that it could happen any day, and when I expressed fear or anxiety about it, my mother would tell me, "As Christians, we should be joyful about the end of the world!" (She meant, "Because we'll get to go be with Jesus.") She repeatedly expressed how "exciting" it was to live in "the end times." I have a hard time getting all the way onto that particular bandwagon. For one thing, life is short enough without rooting for a global war so we can hang out in Heaven that much faster. And the second thing is that I have never been entirely sure that as far as Heaven's concerned, I'll make the cut. It's hard to feel grounded when you're raised with the idea that the world is about to blow up, and that if you're not happy about it, you lack sufficient faith to get into Heaven.

Further, I've never understood why someone who believed in imminent global war and the existence of Hell would have children. To me, it's like being at a really awful party where you don't know most of the guests. Thereís talk of an after-party thatís supposed to be fantastic, but no one knows for sure where it is, how to get there, or if itís really even happening. The party's been going on too long, and has reached critical mass: kitchen is on fire, the guests are fighting, rival gangs are shooting it out on the front lawn, and the cops are on their way. Is that really the time to say, ďI know... letís invite some more people!Ē?

Anyway, to help you plan out the next eight years or so, here's the link: http://www.threeworldwars.com/f/armageddon-2012.htm

Go to town.

Star of the day. . .Thierry Mugler
posted @ 3:32 p.m. on November 10, 2004 before | after


She lay awake all night,