My boss met with some visitors from our town's sister city in China, which I will call Wu Hu. I didn't go to the meeting, but I did end up with a lot of excellent Chinese swag, including multiple tassels of various shades, a couple of colorful brochures, and a DVD showing how modern and sophisticated their city is, with scenes of automobiles being made and cars rushing around to demonstrate the fast pace of the citizens of Wu Hu. In addition to the video, the DVD contains a file called KARAOKE. I haven't been able to open it, but I plan to figure it out and possibly perform the song (or songs!) at our next All Hands meeting. I think it is a good idea for visiting dignitaries to hand out free karaoke CDs, and I want to institute a new program so that my boss can do the same. Nothing loosens the neckties like witnessing a heartfelt rendition of "Black Water" sung by an executive.

I also want to re-vamp our corporate brochure, because when I hold ours up to the official Wu Hu brochure, we look like hicks who just learned to use a photocopier. Their brochure is in full color, with gorgeous pictures of rivers and forests and gold stamping on the front. It lists many reasons why Wu Hu is a metropolis of excellence, including:

• Full of beautiful sceneries and academicians;


• absorbs technicians and managers from all over the world;


• enables its people to enjoy the achievements of reform.

Also notable is the fact that the city holds what the brochure terms a "Guineas Record" for the largest number of violin players performing at one time. The claim is accompanied by a picture of the certificate, which makes me wonder if the whole thing is a hoax. It bears the Guinness logo and reads:

CERTIHCATE

The record for the
Largost orhu cnsomble
was set on
20 September 2004.

I don't know--it seems a little iffy. Anyway, the pictures of the parks and architecture make Wu Hu look like a beautiful place with a lot to do, although I don't imagine there's a lot of repeat tourist business, based on the line that reads, "The new and various activities will make you forget to return."

And that's all I've got.

Star of the day. . .Joey Ramone