Hey, you guys, want to play a really fun, fun game? All the kids love it, so ready? Here it is! (see illustration)

Illustration

It's called the Un Game, and I've never actually played it, so perhaps raving about it in the opening paragraph was dishonest, but that is just one of the things that the UnGame can help me with! It's all about honesty. And wonderful, non-competitive fun. See? It's an UN Game, it's not a game. It's about SHARING.

This particular UnGame, the one pictured above, belongs to my mother, and do not try to tell her otherwise. That is HER UnGame, and even though she hasn't played it since 1977, and never looks at it or thinks about it, she retains full claim of ownership, and you will feel her wrath if you try to remove its mildew-dusted box from the shelf next to the washing machine.

My brother managed to get it away from her temporarily, which my mother agreed to if he promised to play it once a month. (I'm not sure how she plans to enforce that rule, but that is her demand.) I think he thought it would be entertaining to play the game (sorry: the ungame) with his wife and friends, answering questions like:

This is how I feel regarding _________.

(Can't you feel the unfun beginning?) But once my mother made her "play once a month" rule, whatever shred of fun had existed in that decrepit cardboard box dispersed like mold spores.

I don't think I've actually ever played the UnGame. We had it at our house growing up, but I can't recall ever playing it, even when my parents were in their Onward Christian Soldiers period of the late '70s. And frankly, to open up and answer noncompetitive questions in front of family members would have represented an unacceptable level of vulnerability. I was much more inclined to violent, competitive games such as cribbage, where the potential for cheating far outweighed the potential for financial gain, but we did it anyway.

I'd rather we bring out the foam bats! Excuse me: "Encounter bats." Do you know about these "encounter bats"? They consisted of plastic handles about three feet long, with the top two feet wrapped in thick foam. The idea was that you could hit someone without hurting them. (My brother and I quickly discovered that if you hit hard enough, you could collapse the foam and connect the stick with your opponent, which was a useful tactic.)

God, the '70s were an unfortunate decade. How did people not realize that hitting someone with a foam bat did NOT foster a healthy relationship? My mother loved the bats, because they allowed her to pretend that she was venting, and thereby alleviating, her rage toward pretty much everyone around her.

Thinking about the bats, I'm reminded of the fact that my parents refused to allow us cold medicine when we were sick, "because it only treats the symptoms."

Anyway.

Have you ever played the UnGame?

Star of the day. . .Vermithrax