I might have to take back yesterday's recommendation for you to rent EYES OF LAURA MARS if only because the song Native New Yorker is stuck in my head and making me deranged. I don't know. I haven't decided yet.

Anyway, in one month I'm going to New York. I don't know why I'm so spun-up about it, because I've been to New York one million of times, but I'm extra-keyed-up now. Probably because I haven't acted in several years, and I'm not totally 100% certain of how, you know, to memorize my lines. I assume that is still required.

Also, I'm all spun-up about frivolous things, like what style of hair-do I will have for this film, and whatnot. The film is an homage to the great Christian scare films of the 1970s, and I'm playing The Part I Was Born To Play, that of a Lesbian witch. ("A," not "the." I believe there are a number of us.) Woo-hoo! In other words, my nice Episcopalian mother will finally have something to brag about to her friends.

I am preparing for this role with lots of professional acting techniques: listening to music, dancing around, wearing eyeliner, staring. I assume these are things Johnny Depp also does to prepare for movie roles.

I welcome any and all acting-preparation technique suggestions from well-wishers. Also: footwear suggestions.

In other news, the Keelhauler has decided that his new dream is to gain access to Clipperton Island, where he will "cut through the coral, build a small lock chamber, dredge an entrance to the lagoon, and provide shelter for anchoring yachts, then solar power, and create a reachable Bermuda-like Eastern Pacific destination. Plus, Island Brewing beer!" This plan seems very Dr. No to me. Could I have my own supervillain in the making? How fantastic!

Star of the day. . .Otto Skadelig