Happy Patriot's Day, all you happy patriots. Rock and roll. I was also going to wish a happy birthday to Handsome Actor Don Wood, but I think his birthday was actually Monday, so I missed it. Damn, and I was saving up this excellent story he once told me about himself and this transvestite in Houston. I guess it'll have to wait til next year.

So, the interviews for the Illustrious Graphic Designer Position For Which I Am Not Considered Qualified (IGDPFWIANCQ) are taking place down the hall, a situation which everyone is hilariously tiptoeing around, and which I am fully and disingenuously exploiting for maximum cringe factor.

Because I am just ever-so-slightly hungover from Tom & Katie's Silent Baby Party last night, I feel that the best possible use of my time right now is a recap of our last band practice, even though it is not 100% clear in my mind owing to the consumption of a vat of the new lager on tap at the brewery where we rehearse.

Maybe a recap is a bad idea, if only for lack of salient detail. I do recall that my proposed great new cover, "She's White" by the Electric Six, was if not exactly shouted down, definitely back-burnered. "We can do it as a ballad!" I suggested, "It'll have a great, great, creepy lesbian stalker vibe!" Sweetheart, our bass player, stared at me and replied, "Uh... YEAH!" to indicate that not only was that obvious, but perhaps it was a theme gaining slightly too much prevalence in our oeuvre. Apparently, my lyrics to "Conversations with Strangers," written from the perspective of a predatory male bar patron, when sung by me (a girl) provide sufficient creepy lesbian stalker vibe, and there is no need for further exploration into that genre. Hey: I yam what I yam. And ALSO, I wrote "Conversations with Strangers" about a true incident, and I ended up dating the guy for two years.

I'm certain that I can come up with some non-creepy, non-lesbian, non-stalkery cover to perform. Maybe.

I don't know. I still kind of like the idea of "She's White."

I was born a prisoner in your dungeon of flesh, oh yeah
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
Solitary confinement underneath your dress, oh yeah

I would probably take out some fraction of those "yeah"s.

I don't know. I'm going to keep looking. Input welcome.

Star of the day. . .Dick Valentine