In which I continue to be not seen

The new Weekly Reader just arrived, so I have to immediately turn to the "I Saw You" section to see if anyone saw me. Let's see.

No.

There's only one "I Saw You," and it has to do with picking up someone who was walking down the street. I never take rides from strangers--scratch that--it's been a while since I took a ride from a stranger, so that "I Saw You" equals a big "I Did Not See You" to me.

However, right above it there is an ad headed "DADDY TYPE," where a "very good-looking guy" seeks "female, for special arrangement." If he's talking about a female human being, that totally describes me.

A number of "sugar daddy" personal ads appear regularly in this paper. I guess that's not surprising, given the surfeit of old retired guys and bounty of beach bunny college girls. Still, I miss the Tucson Weekly personals, which showcased a greater variety of off-kilter desires. For some reason, the Tucson personals attract people who passed up the opportunity to make themselves sound appealing, resulting in ads that sounded like "Middle aged broad, sick of men, but what the hell I'll give it one more try. I'm broke, overweight and have fifteen cats. Call and let's complain about the government together over a Coors Light. Smokers a plus."

I like to pretend that someone would "see" me, but really, I hate when strangers talk to me, so any "I Saw You" ad would have to say, like, "Tall, fast-moving brunette, you made no eye contact as I hovered around the Used Electronica section at Just Play Music. Me: holding an Armin van Buuren EP; You: gripping your purse."

Don't I make myself sound sooooo hot?



Star of the day. . .Victoria Roberts
posted @ 10:20 a.m. on October 21, 2004 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......