I got an e-mail asking me to collect an R.s.v.p. list for a big, important company meeting. A subsequent e-mail went out to everyone from the Big Boss, saying "Tell Violet whether or not you'll attend."

Today, inspired by a recent perusal of "Common Secretarial Mistakes and How To Avoid Them," I sent a reminder (pro-active!) to all the people who hadn't R.s.v.p'd yet. And I included a copy of the original Big Boss memo saying, "Tell Violet whether or not you'll attend."

I immediately got an e-mail from a coworker I barely know, "Donald," which did not R.s.v.p. in any way, but which read, in its entirety:

"Something this big is likely to be coordinated and scheduled through our local managers, I think."

In other words, Stop bugging me with your stupid e-mail, you are not important enough even to make a list of people who will be attending this meeting.

The fact that no one else questioned my audacious list-making is testament to my ruthless power here. I'm afraid that all it will take is one revolutionary to see through my list-making charade, and all of a sudden, Empress Violet will have no clothes.

Damn you, Donald! Damn you straight to Hell!

Star of the day. . .Louis XVI