I think it's starting to pay off!!!!1

To: Violet
From: [email protected]

Dear Violet...Thanks for your promt respond to success of this transaction.what is the last price you will sell the BOAT to me?.i realy need the boat serious and i want you pls take the advert off the page and tell other buyer the boat had been SOLD.

What is the present condition of the boat?because i'm located in north dakota i will not be able to come see the boat myself,i hope you will be honest with me on condition of the boat?if possible to send the pics to give me rest asure mind on what am buying.i can only make payment through money transfer or check payment

I will contact the shipping company to know amount they will charge to shipped the BOAT with a van bus, i bougth from another seller in a container to avoid damage to venezuela.

The shipping fund will include the payment of the BOAT, so you don't need to worry yourself for shipping the BOAT .once you have the payment and send the excess fund to the shipper they will contact you on phone to make arrangement with you to your convinience time to come to your address together with the van and pick-up the BOAT at your location.
Let me have your information to have the check send to you with your cell phone to discuss with you on this transaction so i can quickly forward it to my client to make sure he issued the check this weekend and send it out first thing monday morning.hope i can trust you with the excess funds?
Here awaiting your urgent respond.
Thanks and God bless.
Best Regard,
GLEN.

--------------------

To: [email protected]
From: Violet

Dear GLEN:

No problem! Always a pleasure to do business with a fellow sailor. You know, we sailors really have to stick together and stand by each other, thick or thin, hell or high water. Know what I mean, GLEN? In my experience, there are a LOT of folks out there wanting to make a "fast buck" off "innocent civilians" such as ourselves, and it is great to know that "honest" folks still exist, and are willing to do business via the Internet and international couriers who will ship boats via van busses they bought in containers in order not to damage Venezuela. Is that like, some kind of rain-forest protection thing? You can tell me.

Anyway, I know you need this boat SERIOUS, and I practically have tears in my ears, thinking about the trust! I mean "my eyes." Sorry. Not "my ears."

Anyway, GLEN from North Dakota, I am truly sorry you cannot see the BOAT yourself, but God Bless you for trusting me that it's in good condition! Let me describe it a little for you, to build up the anticipation and give you something to dream about on the plane from North Dakota to Venezuela, where you will be meeting the van-bus carrying the boat:

  1. The hull is constructed from high-quality industrial grade taffy.
    But don't worry about durability--I have "sealed" the taffy using a sprayed-on concoction of glue, Chanel No. 5 and my own urine. It's 100% GOOD-TO-GO, sea-worthy-wise.
  2. The mast is eighty-five feet tall. I replaced the original mast, which was aluminum, with a stack of elves standing atop one another's shoulders. They are VERY SEA-WORTHY as well, with only a minimal sea-sickness problem from the one we call "Grixie." Happily, he's only about halfway up the stack, making clean-up a breeze!
  3. All the cushions inside the boat have been replaced with marble counters, so that the interior of the space can function as an at-sea abbatoir. (This is VERY CUTTING EDGE, no pun intended, GLEN. You are very lucky I am not charging you extra for this feature!!!!1)
  4. I needlepointed the sails myself--I'll just let you "dream" about that one!
  5. There is one "glitch" in the SAFOOMA 3000 automatic piloting system
    of the boat. It's no big deal, and believe me, it's an extremely common problem for boats sold via the Internet: Whenever the autopilot
    is engaged, a red light flashes the word "FRAUD," the BOAT steers immediately for the nearest Federal Bureau of Investigation, and beaches itself. I'm sure you'll have no problem with this in Venezuela, but I thought I'd let you know.

I'm so sorry that I can't accept your cashier's check for an amount in excess of the $156,000 I'm asking for the car, oh I mean BOAT, but owing to a skin disorder worthy of Quasimodo, I'm no longer allowed to handle any paper except US currency. You will have to send me CASH, baby, CASH!!!1!

Thanks for understanding. Say hi to Mt. Rushmore for me! God, I love those guys, with their big, stony lips. Fathers of our country, I tell you whutt! Hoooooo boy... Anyhoo, I'm off to tell other buyer THE BOAT HAD BEEN SOLD.

Love,
VIOLET of CALIFORNIA

P.S.

Are you related to Tim McGraw? Because that would be SO f'in cool if I could tell the world that, like, Tim McGraw's cousin bought my boat. PLEASE tell me you are.



Star of the day. . .Monty Hall
posted @ 1:38 p.m. on June 23, 2005 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......