Violet potpourri

A grab bag of subjects that have occupied my mind for various spans of time today. (Feel free to borrow for your own use.)

  1. I wonder what ever happened to that girl Lynda who was in my fifth grade class. I was reminded of her today when someone gave me some "Now & Later" cherry candies. I first had some one time when Lynda offered them to me on the playground. They were banana-flavored, and had been given to her by her alternately loving and psychotic mother during a period of relative mental stability. Lynda made plans to run away once--we passed notes to each other on a piece of math paper. "Don't do it!" I urged, "Things will get better!" She'd turn the math paper 90 degrees and find an empty corner for her reply. "I have to." The paper was discovered by our teacher, Mrs. Lundberg, when we went out to recess. When confronted, we spontaneously supported each other in a lie, saying we'd been working on a story about a girl who planned to run away. Mrs. Lundberg was clearly skeptical, but we eventually convinced her. Lynda never ran away, that I knew of. We eventually stopped being friends. Not because of the lie.


  2. I went into the break room today to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. A minute later, Aimee the temp came in and began a series of loud phone conversations about her planned Halloween costume, which I would term "sexy cop." She talks with "the quack," a clipped, self-conscious speech pattern that sets my teeth on edge. "I have like, feshnets," she explained, "and the outfet is just like, a one-piece? Like, with a zepper? And it just comes up... like, it just barely covers." She also made several calls to determine the appropriateness of wearing a cop uniform in front of someone named Janine, stirring up some drama in the process. "I mean, should I not wear the cop costume because of THAT?" she asked, not revealing what "THAT" was. "That is ub-ZERD!" I was further irritated because, despite watching it, I slightly burned some microwave popcorn. Another coworker came in and exclaimed, "EEEEEEEEEEE! Burned POPCORN!" in a voice as high and piercing as Elmo, from Sesame Street. She was followed by Gina, who wanted to describe her chili recipe, and Penny, who misplaced a raffle ticket. All in all, I remembered why I so rarely visit the break room.


  3. I read a quote from Judy Collins, who was speaking of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, or their horses, specifically, and noted that "the white is the spiritual search." This irritated me, because everyone knows that the white horse carries the rider called Pestilence. There is no "spiritual search" horse of the Apocalypse. And OK, so maybe everyone doesn't know that, but here's the deal--White horse: Pestilence. Red horse: War (Huh! Good God, y'all!). Black horse: Famine. "Pale" horse: Deeth. That is all. I don't know where she's getting this whole "spiritual search" thing, but look, Judy Blue-Eyes: We are talking about the Apocalypse. The time for spiritual searching is like, on a sunny afternoon when you find yourself with a free hour or two to wander a road you've never journeyed down. Or whenever, but it is definitely before the menacing supernatural beings show up with the scythes, on horseback. That is the time for running away.


  4. I am reading a book called STORIES I like to tell, a book self-published by one H. Elliott McClure, distributed by Elliott (�No H�) McClure of Camarillo, CA, and signed by the author, with his best wishes. The Keelhauler, knowing my fondness for self-published books, got it for me in a thrift store.

    It should be noted that the title of the book is not STORIES you like to read. Still, the flyleaf features an engaging photo of the author, a woman named Lucy, and two exotic birds�a Bushy-crested Hornbill named �Beautiful Beulah,� and a White-crested Hornbill named �Hairless Joe.� �Hairless Joe� has a flamboyant crest of white feathers and a baleful expression. I have already promised it to Claudia, but it'll be up for grabs after that. Put it on your lists.


  5. Our new receptionist keeps looking at me funny. I'll bet she has a blog. I wonder what my nickname is. I think hers is going to be "Blinky."


  6. I really am over that old crush I had on John Krasinski.



Star of the day. . .Caroline Dhavernas
posted @ 3:57 p.m. on October 26, 2007 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......