Old Wives� Tales That Are Actually True, so pay attention, you.

  • Pouring salt on a slug by the light of a new moon ensures four years of interest-free payments on that new mattress you�ve been coveting.

  • Lining your underwear drawer with soup cans will bring an unexpected gift of eighteen dollars.

  • Every time you cut your own bangs, God crushes a wooly bear.

  • To uncurdle the blood, soak a dollar bill in whisky for a month, then eat it near a television showing an episode of �Perfect Strangers.�

  • Save the nail clippings of an enemy in a toothpick box, and he will permanently lose his ability to pronounce the letter G.

  • To draw love close to your heart, inscribe the name of the beloved on a Malamute, and tie it near a swamp with a hyacinth bound to its muzzle with red thread.

  • Gasoline cures cramps.

  • To rid your barn of ill spirits, embroider the word Ogilvy on a piece of new linen and burn it in the hayloft.

  • Never slice melon during an east wind.

  • To even out the legs of a table, turn it clockwise at midnight and bury a pear by a stream with no reeds.

  • Make a hickey disappear by dousing it with ink.



Star of the day. . .The Spires
posted @ 10:56 a.m. on April 10, 2007 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......