I'm feeling a little better today--thank you to all who sent floral tributes and telegrams--because I got a second chance, employee-ID-picture-wise. And what a gloriously constructed sentence that was! I should type it again and again, word for word, just to highlight its stark beauty.

So, the picture-taking guy came back today, to do another group of employee photos. As soon as I saw him, I planted myself at the front of the line, and politely asked for a re-do. He feigned ignorance of the reason I might want a new picture, but a slight smirk graced his lips. Oh, picture-taking man: You are a panic.

After some minor haggling, he agreed to take a new picture, for five bucks cash on the barrelhead. A small price to pay, I handed it over.

I had to wait until everyone else was through. People kept coming in and, seeing me waiting, offering to let me step ahead. Picture guy had none of it. "Her case is... more in-depth..." he would say, as their eyes cut in my direction. My boss walked by the conference room where the photos were being taken, probably six times, growing visibly more exasperated every time he saw me. I smiled politely as he passed, needing to keep up appearances, as my performance evaluation was scheduled for later in the afternoon.

So, I have a new employee picture. It is not stellar, but it is not, as the one coworker who saw my old picture commented, "a real keeper," before twisting his face into an approximation of my expression in the "before" photo. "Huh huh," he laughed, bobbing his head like a yokel, crossing his eyes for added charm. "Yeah, that's a keeper."

In other news, my performance evaluation went smoothly, and I thank all of you who sent me suggestions for accomplishments. I owe my success to you. And the five-dollar bribe I gave Photo Guy.

Star of the day. . .Julie Anderton