Should you be involved in writing my obituary, whenever that time may come, please avoid the following phrases, which I found in an obituary in last week's paper:

• "I met her in a 12-step meeting the first day she came in."


• “that foul, sarcastic mouth of hers.”


• “unicorns with mad grills”


• “boys dancing in underpants”


• "I'm so glad that I invaded her personal space as much as I did"


• “Kelly Clarkson concerts every night.”


• "Usually with an expletive tacked on at the end"


• “boys with mustaches listening to the most obscure metal ever”


• “the most amazing, gigantic boobs on the planet.”

(OK, I'll consider that last one.)

Star of the day. . .Boswell