I always enjoy coming up with secret nicknames for my coworkers--at this job and every other job--and it dawned on me belatedly that obviously, other people have had the same great idea. Somewhere along the line, I've been given a secret nickname or two. But what could they be?

[Dream/imagination lines of waviness]

Boston, MA. I'm working at Hades, Inc., a noxious investment firm filled with stuffy men in Hermes ties, and brittle women for whom the height of fashion is low-heeled Ferragamo pumps with grosgrain ribbons, and boxy suits from Talbot's. I am the sole graphic designer, and although I dress conservatively, my Ultraviolet powers apparently shine through the facade, leading one abrasive coworker to opine that I am the closest thing the company has to a member of the Addams Family. (My opinion opposes his, and although I can cite specific points to bolster my argument, I do not state that out loud.)

From that exchange, I might infer that my secret office nickname is Wednesday. Or maybe Morticia, although at the time, I had long, red hair and did not tend toward clingy, floor-length dresses, so the resemblance was slight.

Nicknames for coworkers at that job included:

• Dot-nose


• Mushmouth


• Earwax Flicker


• The Pear


• Frat-alicious


• The Viper


• Snowjob

Any one of them would have received a warm greeting from the Addams family.

I'm going to hint around here and see if I can find out anything. My guesses as to my secret nickname are as follows:

• Latey Latelson


• Blogzilla


• Cube laugher


• Brilliant genius wonder-girl, also beautiful

But those are just guesses.

Star of the day. . .Junior Brown