As it turns out, I didn't hear, but luckily, the complimentary issue of "Los Angeles Confidential" magazine that I picked up at Shandy's hotel includes the above-mentioned information, along with a picture of a hideous metallic shoulder bag (a bargain at $795!) and two terrible gladiator sandals, also in the requisite "new black," which is, as you now know, rose gold. Rose gold is like it sounds, a pinkish metallic gold, and how it will become the new black, I am not sure, but because I do everything that magazines instruct, I'm just going to go with it.

Along those lines, here's a list of other "new" items for you to recognize and adopt at will:

Rose gold is the new black.

• Heinie is the new Ass.


• French-kissing strangers is the new appletini.


• "Franco-American!" is the new "Suh-weet!"


• Yobbos are the new Titties.


• Pegged trousers are the new Alize' in a hip flask.


• Staring directly at a laser beam is the new celebrity worship.


• Striped shirts worn under green t-shirts are the new ankle bracelet.


• Cosmetic dentistry is the new arson.


• Dressing to please your man is the new dressing to please your woman.


• Slipping sideways on ice is the new check forging.


• One crossed eye is the new plumber's crack.


• Giant, clinging lobsters are the new purse dogs.


• Red-orange is the new orange.


• Breakfast at IHoP is the new "taking your mom as a date to the Oscars."


• "Fred Shaheen" is the new "Joe Blow".


• Curls are the new white satin jumpsuit.


• Murder is the new eloping to Las Vegas


• SPF 30 is the new SPF 15.


• SPF 45 is the new SPF 30.


• Violet is the new turquoise