My great movie ideas

Slow-Walkin� Men

Some call them outlaws, some call them rebels, but whatever you call them, you have to admit that, oh, do they walk slow. Jaws tensed, alert for danger, these men walk (slowly) toward the camera in big, masculine groups, glancing around themselves (also slowly) as the camera captures their every step in super-glorious slow motion. Some of them wear sunglasses. Wherever they�re going is clearly important, but have no fear: they�ll get there, eventually. They are the men who walk slow. Slow-walkin� men.


Single Girl

Everybody wants to be Single Girl! She�s young! She�s beautiful! She�s comically underappreciated at her job that pays $23,000 a year, but somehow affords a four-bedroom apartment on Central Park West. Or a loft. She could also live in an 8,000-square-foot loft in Tribeca, but wherever she lives, it is fabulous and possibly contains a pinball machine! It would all be perfect except that she�s single, which is wrecking her life. One day, she develops the magical ability to instantly cure diabetes, but she trades the power away for the chance to date a guy who turns out to be married. (This is a tragi-comedy.)


Nice Fred

Why does everybody think Fred is such a loser just because he likes to tend flowers and care for the elderly? If that girl in his fifth-period science class just gave him a chance, he�d treat her like fine crystal. I think her name is Crystal. He�s totally nice. Just give him a chance! But she never will.


Nice Fred 2: the Un-nicening

Fred, who we meet in flashback as Nice Fred (from �Nice Fred�), has dropped out of high school and slid down the slippery slope to a life of crime! He has developed many scars�physical and psychic�through societal rejection. Also, he is a janitor, so he can work at the school where Crystal, the girl who spurned him even when he let her cheat off him during that pop quiz on triffids, sends her twins, January and June. You�d think they�d be pretty, with names like that, but they resemble the young Olsen twins with their staring and robotic line delivery. This movie probably won�t do that well, actually.


It Stares By Night

In the heart of every living thing rests the fear of looking up from an activity and realizing that something has been staring at them. The whole time! What is that thing? None can say, but there it is, with its staring eyes and wide, toothy grin. (This one�s a cinch for a franchise.)



Star of the day. . .Cecil B DeMiller
posted @ 12:08 p.m. on March 09, 2007 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......