In which I take a giant step

I've been girlfriend/boyfriends with the Keelhauler for nearly seven years, although he's away so much that it probably counts as about three. Regardless, the IRS takes a more severe and literal view of the calendar, and has decided that next year, the Keelhauler and I must file Married-style taxes. And oh, how I wish I could approximate in text the look of dumb horror on the Keelhauler's face when I announced that news. He recovered moments later and pronounced himself pleased that the Federal government was doing his work for him, laughing to himself in a pleased kind of way at successfully having avoided the purchase of a ring, a proposal, or any kind of signed commitment documents.

After my seventy-minute lecture on How That Kind Of Statement Demeans Me Personally, Etc., Etc., which bored both of us, he went back out to sea and I moved on to: Shopping via the Internet.

As you know, we live in a time when every big life event is commercialized to shreds. In general, I'm immune to the bridal industry and the hype that surrounds Valentine's Day. Still, I saw an ad that made me sentimental about my relationship, and I clicked on it. (The ad. You cannot click on a relationship. Just try!)

The site I reached was full of options for even a hard-hearted Hannah like me. I looked through the pages of romantic, soft-focus pictures of roses and puppies and decided, What the hell, it's been almost seven years--isn't that a commitment in itself? I decided to take the plunge. Almost without thinking, I filled out the necessary forms and submitted my credit card information. Moments later, I got a message saying that I could expect my order in seven to ten business days.

Finally, after nearly seven years, the Keelhauler and I will have customized return address labels bearing both our names.

Violet & the Keelhauler

Like that, only with our address under the names, but I'm not going to put the address here to avoid giving stalkers any more clues to my location.

They're so beautiful, it makes me want to vomit from joy.

The Keelhauler and I are practically hitched! And it only took an instant, and $6.95 after the $1.00 discount I got for ordering online.

You can send your good wishes to:

700 Via El Dorado
Cuesta Encantada, CA 99002



Star of the day. . .Miss Mary -- happy birthday!
posted @ 3:28 p.m. on September 13, 2007 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......