In which I know that you're half crazy, but I wish you would go all the way

Items of Irritation (vol. 1)

  1. My inability to resist the nail lady's insistence that she paint tiny white flowers on my toenails, resulting in what I will term "trashiness."


  2. Those who call Knott's Berry Farm "Knotsbury Farm," as if it is a hamlet in Northern England, rather than an amusement park in Southern California.


  3. The misleadingly attractive term "cocktail" as refers to a mix of prescription drugs.


  4. Christina Aguilera's abbreviation of her name to Xtina, only because the X has the T inherent in it, as in Xmas, rather than Xtmas. No one else on Earth cares about this but me. And even I can't get too worked up about it.


  5. The vanity plate on a burgundy-colored sports car I pass frequently on the highway, reading LIL UVA. Assuming that "uva" means "grape," I find two flaws with the plate, as follows: 1) The car is many times larger than a grape, hence, the plate should read BIG UVA. 2) There is the perfectly valid Latin word UVULA, a diminutive of the word UVA. Again, no one else on Earth cares about this.


  6. Realizing that I am, and have always been, a pedantic geek at heart.



Star of the day. . .Dennis Miller
posted @ 5:04 p.m. on April 21, 2008 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......