In which water is two feet high and rising

Is there anything more beautiful than sheets of rain, buckets of rain pouring down in icy torrents and hitting you in the face like an icy bucketful of ice-cold rainwater as you walk down the street, having forgotten to take your umbrella patterned with hideous, staring blue kittens amid rococo vines as convoluted as this sentence? (See illustration.)

Illustration:

Even the Kitten Umbrella could not protect me from the powerful and very specific beauty of this day, a day that started its magic when coworker Melvin arrived (late) and approached my desk to inquire as to the proper spelling of the word Fuhrer. So enchanted was I by the originality of his question that I neglected to ask the reason for his needing to know. Perhaps his brown shirt is more than just a suitable match for his slacks.

But should I waste time worrying about Fascists in my midst? How can I, on this beautiful day? I refuse to let anything interfere with my joy at learning that my mother's mind-numbingly stupid boyfriend of three months had thrown away all of our old family photographs. He may have assumed that the pictures of my parents' wedding expired when the divorce decree was issued, or simply figured that, as he didn't recognize any of the people pictured, they were unimportant. A bold choice, if uninformed, but the pictures were rescued from the garbage by my brother, and we remain one happy family, holding hands and skipping merrily toward the grave.

The word "frabjous" comes to mind, when I look at my desk and see the piles of papers shifting gently in the feeble yet constant breeze wafting through the two-inch gap in the patio doors adjacent to my desk. Callooh! Callay! I chortle, wondering if the rainwater will destroy the letter I just printed.

"Is this your letter? The name's obliterated."

"It's not mine--my name's O'Toole."

Another time, when I am not so consumed with joy and smiling to myself, recalling the giant lump of dog excrement left for me on the kitchen floor by the enormous puppy I'm caring for, I will write about my visit last week with the lovely and hilarious Jenny and the wry, entertaining Jack, and give them the attention they deserve.

In the meantime, I will smile in the rain until my throat fills up with water and I choke.



Star of the day. . .Noah
posted @ 2:53 p.m. on March 28, 2006 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......