Special delivery

Are you guys so excited? Britney had her baby, yo! I haven't talked to her yet, although she had the limo stop outside my house and beep on the way to the hospital. I was undergoing an ass-waxing at the time, but I had Concepcion yell down to the street that I was indisposed, and toss down some Cheetos (extra-crispy, natch, because I am all fucking heart).

Several hours later, my phone rang while I was watching the plasma with my purse dogs. "Don't waste my time," I said when I answered, because I was right in the middle of Girls Next Door, and it looked like Kendra and Bridget were about to make out in the shower. There was a pause, then a man's voice said, "Preston Michael Spears Federline." It took me a second to realize the speaker was Brit-Brit's daddy, reporting the name of the new baby. I initially heard his statement as a declarative sentence, and thought, "Finally, someone offed that sucka K-Fed."

So, you won't hear it from the Liberal Media, but there was some tension regarding the name. K-Fed wanted "Michael Yo-G Presto Change-O Fed Fed Federline, Boyeeeeeeeee!" but Brit-Brit shouted down the name, saying that she wasn't having no punctuation marks in her baby name, and besides, it was very, very important to her that the child bear the initials P.M.S., as a tribute to her sisters everywhere.

So, welcome little PMS-Fed to the world, y'all, and throw a sign his way.

In other news, Supermodel Heidi Klum and singer Seal's new son has been named Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu Samuel, which means I win the office pool. It's a great day here in Violetland!



Star of the day. . .Frank Zappa
posted @ 9:02 a.m. on September 15, 2005 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......