Mighty Bitey Tuesday

Welcome to my new feature:

MIGHTY BITEY TUESDAY!!!!!!1

The premise is simple: I will attempt to steal (or "bite," as all the kids say) an idea from someone else and "riff" on it (a phrase I learned from watching "The Aristocrats").

Cynics among you are saying, "But Violet... how is that any different from your normal modus operandi?" And I can only nod wisely and answer, "ESSACKLY." I think you see my point.

So, today I'm going to bite Maven's idea and show you the photos I have of other people's relatives, gleaned from thrift stores.

First, here's a photo of my desk at work:

Look at that unnatural glow from the computer screen! No wonder I�m dizzy all the time.

Anyway, here is one of the photos on my desk:

My Sister�s Wedding Day

I pretend that the bride is my imaginary sister Marceline, and that I tried to talk her out of the all-daisy bouquets, but typically, she failed to heed my advice. I warned her, �It�ll look like you picked them outside the front door of your trailer on the way to the chapel!� but she just took another hit off her Kool and smirked, before demoting me to Guestbook Attendant. She�s such a bitch. To spite her bridesmaids, and ensure that she�d be the most beautiful girl at the wedding, she picked dresses in a shade that turns those poor girls� olive complexions bright Parkay. I hate Marceline. I don�t know why I keep her picture on my desk.

The Trouble With Uncle Earl

It was 1967, the year of the daisy. Uncle Wallace and Aunt Margery threw themselves a 25th anniversary party and very tackily included their gift registry information in the invitation, causing a massive family boycott of the event. Four people did attend, in hopes of a free meal, which they found, but unfortunately, Uncle Earl over-indulged at the open bar, creating a scene yet unmatched in the police blotters of Baltimore to this day.

Bite it,

Violet



Star of the day. . .Jeff Koons
posted @ 12:13 p.m. on February 21, 2006 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......