MIGHTY BITEY TUESDAY!!!!!!1

The premise is simple: I will attempt to steal (or "bite," as all the kids say) an idea from someone else and "riff" on it (a phrase I learned from watching "The Aristocrats").

Cynics among you are saying, "But Violet... how is that any different from your normal modus operandi?" And I can only nod wisely and answer, "ESSACKLY." I think you see my point.

So, today I'm going to bite Maven's idea and show you the photos I have of other people's relatives, gleaned from thrift stores.

First, here's a photo of my desk at work:

Look at that unnatural glow from the computer screen! No wonder I’m dizzy all the time.

Anyway, here is one of the photos on my desk:

My Sister’s Wedding Day

I pretend that the bride is my imaginary sister Marceline, and that I tried to talk her out of the all-daisy bouquets, but typically, she failed to heed my advice. I warned her, “It’ll look like you picked them outside the front door of your trailer on the way to the chapel!” but she just took another hit off her Kool and smirked, before demoting me to Guestbook Attendant. She’s such a bitch. To spite her bridesmaids, and ensure that she’d be the most beautiful girl at the wedding, she picked dresses in a shade that turns those poor girls’ olive complexions bright Parkay. I hate Marceline. I don’t know why I keep her picture on my desk.

The Trouble With Uncle Earl

It was 1967, the year of the daisy. Uncle Wallace and Aunt Margery threw themselves a 25th anniversary party and very tackily included their gift registry information in the invitation, causing a massive family boycott of the event. Four people did attend, in hopes of a free meal, which they found, but unfortunately, Uncle Earl over-indulged at the open bar, creating a scene yet unmatched in the police blotters of Baltimore to this day.

Bite it,

Violet