In the words of Van Dyke Parks, “Surf’s Up!” so grab your board and come on down. I don’t actually surf, or own a board, or swim or go in the ocean, and surfers tend to irritate me, with their cocky stance and incomprehensible, vague patois. But let me tell you, the waves today are incredible. I’d have a photo for you—I fully intended to take some pictures—except that in trying to get my camera out of my purse, I almost drove my car into a Sparkletts truck in the next lane, and had to abandon the mission.

To make up, I checked out the surf report online, and copied this image to give a sense of the scale:

I know! “Wow.”

When the waves get this big, little local businesses will post signs on their locked doors, reading Closed for Big Wednesday or whatever day it is, like if it was a Sunday, they might say Closed for Big Sunday, although I’ve never actually seen that. And anyway, lots of businesses are already closed on Sunday, like the good thrift store downtown, so no sign necessary, dude.

Anyway, I have another story to tell, but I’m feeling really under the weather and kind of gross due to eating the worst lunch ever, so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I’ll just say that the story involves the following elements:

• a school bus


• a pyramid scheme


• a series of forgeries


• slight remorse


• Anjelica Huston

More manana. (“…Buddy brah”)

Star of the day. . .Van Dyke Parks