I'm waiting for the fight to be over, the fight between me and the Keelhauler, and it's hard because he's out at sea and I can't talk to him.

It's hard because I have a lot to accomplish this week, and find it impossible to concentrate when things aren't right between me and him. He's better at putting it aside and going on with his day, possibly just a function of being male, and less emotional.

It's hard because sometimes I look at the way we fight and think there is no conceivable solution.

I understand very clearly that he loves me for who he thinks I could be, and hence is always disappointed with who I am. That does not seem like love to me, although I'll admit it seems familiar.

And so to any of you who might be entertaining expectations that you feel I should meet to earn your approval, I will say: Fuck off.

And to the rest of you, I say goodnight, with love.

Star of the day. . .Christina Rossetti