Alphabetic/apathetic

Here's an alphabet meme I horked from Maven the Great. I'm too tired to think up things to write about. [I also stole this intro from her! I am so trick-ay!]

ACCENT: None. Although people from Massachusetts can generally tell I�m a landsman. (That�s fancy for �homie.�) My parents� one gift to me was not, as the Keelhauler bizarrely suggested, �the hatred of all food that�s brown,� but rather the insistence that I did not end up with a Boston accent. Thank you, mumsie! IOU one mother�s day present!

BOOZE: Red wine, Champagne, Island Brewing Company�s Tropical Paradise lager, and� all that other stuff, too. The Jager. The Goldschlager. The� the� anything commonly associated with body shots, because that is hott, and I am a party and a half.

CHORE I HATE: Cleaning out my car. Which is why I never do it. Here are some things currently riding around in my car: a fluorescent cherry-red polyester double-knit cape; a 2-horsepower outboard motor; several pairs of sailing gloves; a jug of laundry detergent from Restoration Hardware (scent: ginger-grapefruit); and a bullwhip.

DOGS/CATS: I don�t have any, but I was going to write �I don�t OWN any,� which made me think of this guy who worked for my company as a temp in Boston. When asked if he owned a pet, he snuffled uncomfortably and answered, �Well, as much as one might be said to OWN any living being.� He was a fucking blast, that guy. I should Google him.

ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: Various. Nothing exciting.

FAVORITE PERFUME: I revel in perfume, and roll around in the empty bottles when no one�s home but me. Choosing a favorite is like trying to pick my most beloved grape in a bunch, in that it�s both pointless and uninteresting. At the moment, I�m wearing Green Irish Tweed, by Creed�not the band, surprisingly enough, but a parfumier depuis 1760, if you believe the hype on the engraved card that comes with the bottle. �Whatever, Frenchie� is what I say, spritzing myself with more of it. I also wear Chanel No. 5 and/or No. 19; Hermes 24 Faubourg or Hiris; Ralph Lauren�s Pure Turquoise; and Love�s Lemony Baby Soft, like all us sweethearts.

GOLD/SILVER: I prefer the faux gold, preferably with the finish wearing off, so the base metal shows through for that �old money� appeal.

HOMETOWN: Does this mean �where were you born�? Boston.

INSOMNIA: Si. I cannot sleep, for fear something will be looking at me once my eyes are closed.

JOB TITLE: Enthusiast.

KIDS: None, that I know of.

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: On a sailboat, with my boyfriend the Keelhauler and my host of imaginary office supplies.

MOST ADMIRED TRAIT: Silence.

NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS: Zero.

OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: Somewhere between 40 and 45.

PHOBIAS: I�m not terribly phobia-riddled, but I am occasionally afraid that someone is publishing stories on the internet about how much I hate my job. Oh, and that I�ll end up in the gutter, alone and broke, with none of my real teeth left, and only one hairbrush.

QUOTE: �This is my happening, and it freaks me out!� -- Z-Man Barzel, �Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.�

RELIGION: Lapsed Episcopalian.

SIBLINGS: I have one brother.

TIME I USUALLY WAKE UP: I never sleep.

UNUSUAL TALENT: All my talents are usual.

VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: Clams.

WORST HABIT: Self-aggrandizement.

X-RAYS: I�m agin �em.

YUMMY FOODS I CAN MAKE: Microwave popcorn. It is SO good, y�all?

ZODIAC SIGN: I refuse to answer on the grounds that this sort of occult fixation endangers my beliefs and weakens the very nature of Christianity. Ah, fuck it: Libra, Libra rising.



Star of the day. . .The Count, a ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
posted @ 2:22 p.m. on May 11, 2006 before | after

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She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......