Two Heads Filled With Aspirin

Television advertisement clips available from the library of MacDonald & Associates, as described on their website

(Comments in italics mine)

  • SHAKE 'N BAKE: little boy madly desires this chicken


  • ANACIN: two heads filled with aspirin work on headaches


  • BIRDSEYE MILK SHAKE MIX: family drives car into kitchen to get home-made taste of instant milkshake― fantasy


  • RAINBO: father uses puppets to explain freshness of Rainbo bread
    ...grim reality.

  • SCOTT'S TURF BUILDER: children and dog frolic on chemically treated lawn


  • SIX FLAGS OVER ST. LOUIS: people enjoy jumping dolphins
    The precursor to jumping the shark.


  • PAPERMATE PEN: woman gives boyfriend pen for Christmas of the future
    Imagine the bright future, when someday we might all be pen owners!


  • CURLEE SLACKS AND LEISURE SUITS: two men go up in balloon and their clothes can take any pressure―loud plaid and checked polyester suits


  • SCOTTIES TISSUES: family moving to new home offers tissues to crying daughter and she instantly feels better
    "If someone could get her mood disorder under control, maybe our family wouldn't have to move so often."


  • DRUTHER'S FAST FOOD: white and black people love this fried chicken place
    Data not yet available on the Hispanic and Asian markets.


  • GAS ENERGY: woman in flowing white robes like a Vestal Virgin carries clear bubble and runs along natural gas to symbolize the cleanliness of gas


  • DASH DETERGENT: longshoremen shed their dirty clothes and woman on dock washes them
    Just as God intended.


  • NATIONWIDE INSURANCE: blanket covers smiling cartoon faces


  • GAS ENERGY: pretty people enjoy air conditioning
    They sure do, friend.


  • NESTLES CANDY BAR: kids in playground crunch and sing


  • CAMAY: Lucia Avedon plugs this soap with young woman
    Well, it�s better than the reverse.


  • BOLD DETERGENT: woman at wedding taking pictures, gets her knees dirty
    Look, someone had to document the maid-of-honor�s little transgression with the groom.


  • BIG BROTHER: little black boy wanders aimlessly while man sings about helping others
    Hey, dude: Stop singing and help that wandering kid.


  • CHANEL NO. 19: pretty girl grabs boyfriend in restaurant


  • MUELLER'S SPAGHETTI: fishermen eat spaghetti


  • BEAUTYREST MATTRESS: Vicki Lawrence lays on bed


  • SCOPE MOUTHWASH: three girls live together and use Scope
    "Hello, Hollywood? I've got a great idea for Charlie's Angel's 3 ..."


  • ORIENTAL SPICE AFTER SHAVE LOTION: woman is devastated because this man hasn't called her, and all she can remember is his smell
    Been there.


  • KIMBIES DISPOSABLE DIAPERS: man in park asks mother to pour water into diaper
    Here�s a universal rule: Don�t pour water into anything worn by someone you meet in a park. I don�t care how nice he seems.


  • PURITAN SWEATERS: man in park attracts pretty girl with his sweater
    In fact, just stay out of the park altogether.


  • EAU DE LOVE: woman at mirror with cologne―has lots of 1970-s fashions―sexy closing "With Eau de Love I did better in one week than I usually do in a year."
    Eau de Love� preferred by three out of four prostitutes!


  • SCOTCH TAPE: men in industry use Scotch tape and so do ordinary people in their homes
    I�m going to need to see some documentation on that.


  • WOLLENSACK TAPE RECORDER: husband buys tape recorder for wife that is so simple to operate he says "Even you can operate it, Doris"―sexist
    Oh, come on. Everyone knows Doris is an idiot.


  • COLT MALT LIQUOR: bored man in forest is entertained with a man cutting down a tree, a woman emerging from the trees and an archer
    Just a few of the hallucinations you, too can enjoy with COLT MALT LIQUOR!


  • FRUIT OF THE LOOM PANTYHOSE: two men and a woman plan a bank robbery and have a fine choice of stockings to wear over their heads
    Know your audience.



Star of the day. . .David Ogilvie
posted @ 12:55 p.m. on July 15, 2008 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......