In which I lose my patience

To: Violet
From: abey larry

Hello seller,
I'm writting in respond to your (purchashing your boat. ) advert,and i'm pleased to inform you about my interest in purchasing it.i will like to see the picture,i will also l like to know it present condition ,last price of it.mode of my payment is certisfied check,
Hoping to hear from you soon.
regard
Larry

----------------------------

To: abey larry
From: Violet

Hello, buyer.

Listen, I have to tell you that your message sounds like scam. If I was in a better mood, I'd pretend I thought it was real and play along, but as it is, I'm a little sick of people who waste my time. I'm perfectly capable of wasting my own time, abey larry, as this message will attest.

A little advice: if you're going to try to steal from people via the Internet, you have to have a plausible-sounding response to their ads. Sources of credibility include proper grammar, correct spelling, and a sense that you actually know what the item for sale is. I mean, come on: there's a picture of the boat in the "advert," and the price is listed. I don't know what you mean by "the last price of it," but every single message I get from one of you jokers includes that phrase. Does someone send out a template? Do you have to go to school to learn how to do this? (And if so: dude, re-enroll! You are clearly due for a refresher course!)

I'm going to forward you some messages from other scammers that I've gotten, because I think you need a mentor. Maybe you can get together with them and form a support group--check each other's spelling, talk about strategy, bail each other out of jail, that kind of thing. Frankly, when I read your message, the word "purchashing" made me think you sounded drunk. Are you drunk, Larry?

If the boat-buying scam doesn't prove fruitful to you, there's another great scam you can try. This one actually worked on the dumb-ass ex-husband of a girl I know. He posted an ad for a roommate wanted, and got a reply from a girl claiming to be an internationally famous and specatacular Ralph Lauren model from, like, Tanzania or something. Maybe it was Tasmania. I really don't know, but anyway, blinded by the possibilities, he didn't question WHY this beautiful and internationally famous model would need to rent a room in his podunk town, and happily accepted her cashier's check for an amount in excess of the asking price. He sent her back the overage, and naturally, the check didn't clear. D'oh! So, you know, maybe that would work for you. Sex sells, abey larry! Toss it around in your Scam Support Group and see if it flies.

See you in the funny papers, Larry.

Miss V



Star of the day. . .Larry David
posted @ 9:53 a.m. on August 02, 2005 before | after

|

She lay awake all night,

zzzzzzzzzzz......