Hi, and welcome back to My Holiday Entry, a three-pronged series on gift-giving. But first, a word from our sponsor (i.e., me, Violet).

The lovely goingloopy was kind enough to allow me access to her page, so for more sparkly, foamy Violet-flavored fun, head on over her way. Then, check out her archives to compare and contrast her excellence with my typical phone-it-in savoir-faire.

To recap: We've been over the first two prongs of holiday gift-giving, i.e.,

1. Women and
   
2. Children.

This leaves one prong, and it should be obvious who it belongs to:

Me, Violet

Here's a list of some appropriate gifts that I would enjoy to receive, as well as an explanation of each gift's appropriateness:

1. A kitten: Furry; enjoyable purring action


2. Fountain pen ink: Encourages writing on paper rather than online


3. New car: Replaces old car


4. Diorshow Ice Pearl mascara: Augments fragile beauty, inspires jealousy in frantic Ice Pearl Googlers


5. Booze: May result in party, to which you may be invited

See how easy?

Now, on to a list of gifts I may have received in the past from unnamed donors, accompanied by the reasons these gifts were undesirable:

1. White baseball cap inscribed with the words "BAD HAIR DAY" in "crazy" wiggle letters: Clashes with "GOOD HAIR DAY" headband


2. Multicolored yet drab leather patchwork hobo bag: Implies hobo-osity, homelessness, drug problem


3. 2" x 3" plain glass picture frame with no picture in it: Encourages recognition of gift-giver's contempt for recipient


4. Nothing: See previous item

So, there you have it, y'all. I have no more advice to give.

In the spirit of holiday giving, if you would enjoy to receive a card, please send me your address.

Love,
Violet

Star of the day. . .The Artist Formerly Known As Cat Stevens